What next? How do I actually use this and write?
Good question, friend.
Our Flyways Method & Planner is designed for exactly this situation. You can do it on any odd piece of paper you have lying around (although you may have received a Planner with your purchase). The Flyways Method is based on three steps:
- A reflection on the person you're writing to
- A heart-check, regarding one's true feelings and observations
- A question: Will this serve them and is the time right?
Let me demonstrate...
Imagine I have a close friend who is starting cancer treatment next week. They've always been the strong one, the one others lean on. Now they're facing months of uncertainty, and though they're putting on a brave face, it's natural to be scared.
Using the Flyways Method and thinking about the card themes of growth and faithfulness, I could jot down the following notes:
Step 1: See the Person
Who is this card really for?
- A friend who has always been strong for others, now facing vulnerability
- Someone dealing with a medical journey with an uncertain outcome
- A person who might struggle with accepting help from others
- Someone who needs permission to have hard days while maintaining hope
Step 2: Check Your Heart
What's true for you about this person?
- I genuinely admire their courage even when they're afraid
- I've noticed how they've been researching and preparing practically, while still processing emotionally
- I want them to know they don't have to be strong all the time
- I believe in their resilience, but don't want to minimize their struggle
Step 3: Truth & Timeliness
What would serve them right now?
- Acknowledging both their fear and strength without toxic positivity
- Letting them know they won't face the darkness alone
- Offering practical support without overwhelming them
- Providing hope that feels grounded, not idealistic
The Message
Looking at the card with the girl and dog watching the sunrise, I crafted this message:
Dear Jenna,
I'm thinking of you as you start treatment. I know that sometimes all we can do is sit in the difficult moments and wait for light, and I've seen how you face things with courage. I really admire that. Please know that even if I haven't messaged you on a given day, you will still be on my mind. Seriously - I have your face on my fridge.
Treatment starts Monday. I could be there at 8 with your favourite breakfast sandwich and that tea you like. Or if you'd rather go alone, I will come over when you're ready. Either way, I'm here.
With love,
Cass
How I Applied the Method
Cards like this are always especially difficult. And honestly, I'm never sure I quite get them right. But I felt as though using the Flyways Method helped me develop something genuine and actually reach out, rather than procrastinate until it was too late.
First, I acknowledged Jenna's current reality - facing treatment, dealing with uncertainty, and the tension between being strong and feeling vulnerable. The message speaks directly to that specific situation rather than offering generic encouragement.
Then I recognised my genuine admiration for their courage. I recognised that I could commit to being physically present at times, but didn't want to over-promise and disappoint, so I brainstormed the specific practical support I wanted to offer in the first instance, with the view of continuing to do this along Jenna's treatment journey.
I checked what would be timely to say in this situation, and wanted to make sure I did the following things:
- Acknowledging difficulty while offering hope
- Making a specific, practical offer of support
- Giving Jenna agency by offering options for how I can help
The message avoids toxic positivity ("Everything happens for a reason") or empty platitudes ("Stay positive!") while still offering authentic hope grounded in the reality of their situation.